To help my son become a better man.
The Essential Man will be on a temporary hiatus as I’m traveling home for Thanksgiving. However, feel free to add me on other social networking sites, as those are a bit easier to micro-update, as well as dropping me an e-mail with any questions, comments and/or blog ideas.
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/essentialman
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/theessentialman
Email: thebetterman1@gmail.com
Have a safe holiday and enjoy one of my favorite Mr. Bean clips above.
I’m the new Guestbreaker on one of my favorite blogs, dealbreaker.
GUESTBREAKER: You’re “Bad At Relationships”
Everyone has something they’re self conscious of, but do you really want to start telling me how you have ruined your past two relationships on our second date? Or how jaded you are when it comes to dating in general?
I wonder if you go into job interviews and go down the list of all the reasons why they shouldn’t hire you, and then complain about how you can’t get a job.
I guess I’m lucky enough to hear it this early and dodge the bullet. And it sucks because I was getting excited about you, but I don’t want an experiment. Breaking up sucks. Dating is hard. But I’m not going to order something on a menu if the waiter is standing there telling me how it’s going to be a pain to eat, and will probably give me diarrhea in the end.A Guest Dealbreaker written by The Essential Man
A while ago I asked the Internet and a group of friends what are some things you should never say to women. I present to you, in no order of rank, things you should never say to women.
Photo by Helmut Newton
“You should feel that, under the right conditions, all women would be available.” - Helmut Newton (Fashion Photographer)
A History of Violence is the last Hollywood movie to be released on VHS, in 2006. It’s also a really good movie, go watch it.
Horatio Sanz via GQ.com
Horatio Sanz via GQ.com
The idealized, noble thing for me to tell you is that looks don’t matter. And caring too much (i.e. being too vain) is a bad thing. That it’s what’s inside that counts.
But humans have been hardwired from the start to make decisions based on what they see before them first: Is this food safe to eat? Is this person friend or foe? Is this person an ideal lover?
I will be honest with you that when I’m home, or running around doing errands, I’m usually doing so in sweats, an old t-shirt and a random jacket.
But if I’m having dinner with friends, going to an event, a meeting or most importantly, on a date, I take the time to think about all aspects that make up my style: clothes, hair, breath….
Do I need to shave?
Is my cologne too strong?
As said in an earlier post, one of my favorite quotes on this subject comes from designer Tom Ford:
“Dressing well is a kind of good manners, if you ask me. When you’re standing in a room, your effect is the same as a chair’s effect, or a sculpture’s. You’re part of someone’s view, you’re part of that world, and so you should dress well. I find it’s a show of respect to try to put on your best face and look as good as you can.”
I completely understand that there are a lot of people that might feel offended at my stressing the important of appearances. We all do care about what we look like, it’s just a matter of to what degree. If people truly didn’t care what they looked like, they’d never get haircuts, bathe and should probably walk around nude (or at least a burlap sack to avoid jail time) But we all go into clothing stores and buy items we like aesthetically, we don’t make conscious decisions to look as bad as possible. We dress up for job interviews. Dates. First day of school. For the DMV. Now, whether what we buy actually looks good on us is a matter of taste.
The point is, you can scoff at the idea of paying attention to your style and putting effort into looking good, but don’t be surprised when that girl doesn’t call you back for a second date if you choose to roll into dinner with a sports jersey and beat up jeans. Or that you lost out on that job because that other guy had the same skills but chose to comb his hair, shave and not look like he forgot he had an interview.
Yes, you might be able to score a second date or a job if you half-assed your appearance (keyword: might), but why run a marathon on one foot if you don’t have to?
There’s another great quote that I’ve heard in passing, and while I don’t remember who actually said it first (or if this is the exact quote), I remember it going somewhat like this:
“If you dress well, half the work is already done.”
For most people, the idea of a “man-bag” is a complete turn off. I guess it’s because having to lug around half your house inside a bag is something that is usually attributed to women. But for me, these things are vital in day to day life.
You never know when an idea pops in your head for something. You never know if that thing you just ordered for lunch is going to make your mouth reek of death. And you never know who you’re going to run into who asks if anybody has a pen. Coupled with the fact that I just hate having bulky pockets.
And while I’m saving the “man-bag buying guide” post for later, here’s a look at what I lug around most of the time.
What’s in my bag:
Paris, Je T’aime is on my list of favorite movies. This scene, by far, is the best part of the movie and probably one of the best scenes of any movie I have ever seen.
Simply beautiful.
My life is forever changed. How to properly eat a chicken wing.
There are very few things a man can overdo aside from cooking steak. Gift wrapping is an often neglected part of the gift giving process. Anything worth doing is worth doing well, you have to have a sense of pride in everything you choose. So let’s get serious, the holidays are creeping up and there might be a birthday here and there in between. Such the case with my friend’s birthday that is tomorrow, which I will be using her gift for this demo.
The Basics
The Overkill
1. Lay a couple of sheets of tissue paper in the box. You can crumple the sheets before laying them out if you don’t like the look of new tissue. Place the gift inside (beautifully now).
2. Make sure you have enough paper to wrap the gift. It should be about three times the width of the box, with enough paper on the top and bottom to almost cover the sides. Trim any excess you might have.
3. Flip the box upside down and fold over one side to the edge. Make as sharp a crease as you can on the fold. (The paper stock I chose to wrap the gift with was heavy which made this part a little hard. But do your best.)
4. Repeat with the other side, folding over so the edge meets the edge of the box. Trim any excess paper and crease the fold.
5. As you fold the top flap down on the sides, the corners will naturally fold into the corners. Make a crease along the sides as shown so you end up with two sloped edges.
6. Fold the sloped edges towards the center, pressing into the bottom crease as tightly and neatly as possible. Crease the bottom flap’s corners neat.
7. Fold the bottom flap up and apply one piece of tape in the center. Repeat on the other side.
8. Box complete. Ribbon time.
9. Flip the box so it’s right side up. Measure one full length of ribbon along the longest side of the box. Since this box is even on all sides, this is easy. Pull this length down, you’ll use this excess to tie the bow at the end.
10. Wrap the ribbon around the box, making sure the ribbon stays flat on the bottom. Once you get around half way on top, stop and hold the ribbon down in the center with your finger.
11. Fold the ribbon to one side and wrap it around again, this time horizontally, still making sure that the ribbon stays flat on the bottom.
12. Cut the ribbon (The longer, the safer. Don’t worry, you’ll be trimming it at the end.) and loop it under the horizontal and vertical ribbon and pull both loose ends tight to secure.
13. Create two loops with the ends and tie like a shoelace.
14. Trim excess ribbon at an angle.
15. If done right, the bottom of the box lays flat beautifully.
16. Write a short and nice birthday note.
17. Seal.
Voilá!
A girl I dated once told me that guys with long nails were a near deal-breaker, and for good reason. It’s just plain creepy.
I recently picked up the guitar again, trading in my childhood dreams of being the next Nirvana to my adult dreams of chilling on a summer day with some Bossa Nova riffs. (see: this post)
And even though a lot of classical guitar players grow out their nails, I just can’t bring myself to do it. The images of David Lo Pan in Big Trouble in Little China are far too strong.
So cut your nails.
The rule of thumb to use is that they should be short enough to be able to pick up a penny. I sometimes use the fist test, which I learned in middle school. Make a tight fist then open your palm. If your nail indentations take more than a couple seconds to disappear, it’s time to cut your nails.
Buy a toe-nail clipper, because the only thing creepier than long fingernails on a man are long toe nails. Those dinky fingernail cutters just can’t tackle that big-toe. And take a cue from professional nail salons and soak your nails until they’re soft before cutting them. The last thing you want is a split nail or nail shrapnel flying into your eye.
The scene from my bathroom before a night out on the town
Know your Champagne:
- Legally, it can only be called Champagne if it comes from a specific region of France (northeast of Paris). Otherwise it’s called something like Processo (Italy), cava (Spain), sparkling wine, etc.
- Read the Wikipedia entry on the Comité Interprofessionel du Vin de Champagne. It’s super neat!
- Here are some Champagne producers that make my tummy tingle and my head spin (in a good way): Krug, Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin (aesthetically speaking, their labels take the win) Louis Roederer (they make Cristal), Taittinger, Nicolas Feuillatte, and Moet & Chandon (they make Dom Perignon).
- If you don’t want to to break the bank, go for a non-vintage Champagne.
- Ladies look lovely when sipping from a glass of Rosée (aka blush or pink wines).
- Funny story: extra-dry or extra-sec is actually slightly sweeter than brut.
- With that said, brut is always a game-pleaser. A safe bet, if you will.
- Bianca Dagger
A special thanks to Bathroombanter for her introduction to Champagne.
And if you want to win the heart of a woman, this drink will do the trick. (Or at the very least, set the wheels in the right direction.)
Wild Strawberry Champagne
I first made this the last time I was in Paris. Unfortunately, wild strawberries are somewhat difficult to find in the States. They are much smaller in size, but the flavor is ten fold to the mutations that you find in most supermarkets. Depending on your location, strawberry season can start as early as May. Check farmer markets, where you can still get great strawberries up until December. Or grow your own. As a last resort, you may use thawed frozen strawberries.
What you need:
Directions
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